The following is a post from a class discussion board in Interpersonal Communication 515. It is a response to an article by John Ramage on cultural readymades.
One of the memories I have of my father is in his office upstairs in our home. He was a mathema-tician/meteorologist. I was in the fourth grade and had come to ask for help with some long division. He was busy translating some meteorological data into Russian. I don’t remember the sequence of events, but I do remember vividly his impatient sharp criticism of my difficulty in comprehending math by slamming his hand on his desk shouting, “You are so damn dumb.” This was typical of his attitude toward me. He had high expectations and was always quick to inform me of my deficiencies. My worth was defined by my performance. His father was a German immigrant engineer, who also held these paradigms that seem to have been born of a kind of German perfectionism.
One of the memories I have of my father is in his office upstairs in our home. He was a mathema-tician/meteorologist. I was in the fourth grade and had come to ask for help with some long division. He was busy translating some meteorological data into Russian. I don’t remember the sequence of events, but I do remember vividly his impatient sharp criticism of my difficulty in comprehending math by slamming his hand on his desk shouting, “You are so damn dumb.” This was typical of his attitude toward me. He had high expectations and was always quick to inform me of my deficiencies. My worth was defined by my performance. His father was a German immigrant engineer, who also held these paradigms that seem to have been born of a kind of German perfectionism.
The cultural myth that self-worth is related to accomplishment is woven into my psyche and serves me and those around me in polar ways. I don’t know its general history, but in my world it came, first of all, through my father in “the cultural place I occupied” (Ramage, 2006, p. 42) and in much the same way (though not as severe a way) as Plath experienced. In fact, as I read her poem I found myself strangely empathetic and sensed a comfortable space created in the “I’m through” (Ramage, 2006, p. 67). If we are able to think about identity formation as a “succession of acts” or a “work in progress” (Ramage, 2006, p. 36) these histories have less power to keep us hooked to them or crippled by them. One of the balancing resources to help “maintain a critical attitude” (Ramage, 2006, p. 55) to the blinding power of this readymade is the proliferation of literature and websites that offer alternatives. One that I enjoy and refer to frequently is www.zenhabits.com .
My husband teases me about my German heritage and passion (possibly obsession) for accomplishment. In the middle of what he calls one of my “charges” he will insert a comment in a German accent (which he does convincingly) saying, “Da trains vill run on time else you vill be shot.” Normally, I don’t receive this corrective dig in a good way and continue on in an unrepentant determination.
Typical behaviors connected with this cultural readymade are evident throughout my day and touch all kinds of activities. Last week I was in Spokane taking the 501 visiting scholar class. We had class time as well as field work—a reasonable but challenging workload for such a short time together. In addition, I had the constant call of this class and an online class I am teaching; preparation for three other classes that I teach this week also pressed in. To top it, I had my Station Agent paper about 80% complete and discovered that I left my Bridges not Walls book at home in New Mexico and could not finish the paper on time. I could not get the book quickly enough from Amazon and could not rent it. In my frustration, I contacted David and his generous response set me at ease: I could turn the paper in when I got home…no penalty. I was relieved ….for about 12 hours. I got up on Monday and called the Gonzaga bookstore (a predictable action typical of my cultural readymade) and found a copy for $38 (a difficult purchase since I bought mine off Amazon for 1 cent). I got the book and was determined to turn the paper in on time. Events pressed in and I submitted it on the third instead of the first, accompanied by a mental state of inordinate frustration. This is a downside.
I see many good things about the influence of this readymade, though admittedly, I feel bound to it in inescapable ways. There is something, though, to be said for seeking mastery and excellence and “mastery is painful” (Pink, 2009, p. 122). I don’t think I am driven so much by extrinsic ends as intrinsic enjoyment and find great satisfaction most of the time, even in my often frenetic charging. Those around me don’t always share in my joy as relationships tend to be shoved aside in favor of doing.
“Out of numberless acts of understanding ourselves in terms of other people, ideas, beliefs, etc. comes a sense of who we are and who we are not.” (Ramage, 2006, p. 40)
The variety present in the group soup can serve to deepen the understanding of our own identities. I was in a face-to-face group of 13 last week. Each of us, influenced by various cultural readymades, came to the table embracing these colorful and potentially conflicting identity paradigms. In addition to these were our responses to the multiple readymades we were bumping into. I think that the challenge of any group is productive empathy. My own experience of the tangible grip of these cultural perceptual frameworks is sufficient to supply me with ample empathy and acceptance of the other. Cultural readymades are as deeply invested in me as they are in others and, at least in theory, your readymade compatibility with my affinities is not the ground for our conversation, but serves to enhance. Differences are not “a problem to be eliminated” but more “contributions to a collaborative mix” (Stewart, 2006, p. 42). In the group experience, my identification with this readymade can be objectified and input through dialogue can promote balance.
References
Pink, D. (2009). Drive. New York, NY: Riverhead.
Ramage, J. (2006). Rhetoric: A user's guide. New York, NY: Pearson-Longman.
Stewart, J. (2006). Bridges not walls:A book about interpersonal communication. Boston: McGraw-Hill.
