change...what was wrong with the old one?

Culture is environmental.  It is soaked into every tiny level and interaction possible in a society. As we students are told frequently, it is everything learned.  When we encounter a new culture, some of the things we find different can be so surprising because they were under our radar.  We assumed there was only one way to do them because they were so small we had never thought about it a bit.  This ethnocentrism goes down to the cellular level of life.  It’s invisible; it’s the water we swim in.  I have found a tiny but significant aspect of interaction in Italy that jangles with my American desire to be direct.

In Italy, the custom is to give customers their change from a purchase by placing it on the counter or on a dish designated specially for this purpose—not into the customers’ hand. I realized this after my first couple purchases in Florence, and noted that many merchants will bypass your hand completely and even look distressed if you put your hand out.

To try to alleviate the discomfort of this dissonance, I have tried to adapt by not putting my hand out after purchases, but it seems to have a life of its own. Try as I might, it has been next to impossible for me to adapt to this.

Part of the reason it’s hard is that I don’t understand it.  Then also, I’m a pretty straightforward person, even within the cultural environment of the US.  Plus, it seems like such a small interaction; and it’s so totally automatic for me to put my hand out for my change.  I have now been in Italy for 10 days, and finally I have gotten to the point where I can remember most of the time.  I practically have to strap my hand down.  You know when you’re used to driving stick and you drive an automatic and that left foot starts moving in on the break as if it were a clutch and you have to jam it between the seat and the door to teach it to behave?  Just like that. It’s Pavlovian!

I have heard different theories about the reason for this interesting cultural iota of change presentation: it’s a trust thing; they don’t want to touch you (long history of plagues and iffy personal hygiene opportunities); just because.  In the end, it doesn’t matter what the reason is.  It’s how it is, and how the Italians think it should be.  When in Rome and all that.  So, I just keep slapping my encroaching hand away during transactions, and hope not to offend anyone.  What was wrong with my old way of receiving change?  Nothing, in its context.  But here, it’s getting in the way of smooth interaction with the people, so it needs to be changed.

I should be good and trained just about the time I get back to the States.....

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